Dad:
so I called my mother today, I was lazy to but I did, but it went directly to voicemail. I then realized I had to fart so bad so I let one rip, and it dawned on me that the voicemail has ended. So my mother is going to open her voice mail to 20 seconds of me just letting out a huge fart.
Mom:
and your farts are loud too, honey. At night when you go use the restroom, you wake the cat up with your huge farts, and they echo in the toilet. Next time angle your butt out of the toilet, if not China is gonna blame US for their next 8.0 earthquake.