crowmunculus:

here are some talking points i’d add if yr up for detail:

1. women are not defined by our genitals (”biological sex” is such a pathetic euphemism tbh, talk 2 me when yr knowledge of biology exceeds a US public ed 7th grade level.) women are people and entire sexual orientations should not be compartmentalized into an attraction to specific body parts, it’s dehumanizing and, as already mentioned, reduces attraction and relationships to only sex. 

2. i am not a lesbian because of a narrow attraction to genitals, i am a lesbian because of a broad attraction to women. i am a lesbian because i love women. women are not their body parts. this is objectifying and explicitly designed to punish trans women - do you know what a stranger has in their pants? do you only experience attraction to someone as soon as you have CONFIRMED that what they’ve got for junk is what you want? attraction is a complex and multifaceted phenomena that is in part innate, in part (a great part) socially influenced. it is not all about genitals. i really do not understand why people care so goddamn much about genitals.

3. words mean things, and “lesbian” is a word specifically for women or women-aligned nb people who exclusively wish to form any kind of sexual or romantic relationship with other women and women-aligned nb people. there is a specific oppression that accompanies a woman’s lack of interest in men, a specific experience that is not applicable to women who experience genuine, wanted desire (one not created wholesale by compulsory heterosexuality) for any kind of relationship with men.

i believe there is a lot of overlap between the experiences of lesbians and bpq women, but i also believe we have different words for our different experiences for a reason, and that that reason should not be diluted because that strips the power from the words and their ability to accurately describe our place within an oppressive framework. 

men are not lesbians. men do not experience any form of oppression or punishment for interest in women - it is expected of them (exceptions: men showing interest in the “wrong” kind of women, such as how black men are violently oppressed for even the wildest suspicion that they are showing interest in a white woman.) it doesn’t matter if they’re trans or cis or nonbinary. being a man means as far as gender alone goes, on that axis of oppression you are always advantaged at the exploitation of women.

4. trans men are men. demiboys, if they present as men and use he/him pronouns and have taken on all the social trappings of men, are men as far as gender power dynamics are concerned. men is men is men. men is the same. [general] you may have different experiences with being a man than those of a cis man or binary man, but they are still men’s experiences, the same way i have different experiences as a gay woman than the experiences a straight woman has as a woman but our experiences are both undeniably women’s experiences.

men do not get to call themselves lesbians. i am inherently distrustful of any trans man who believes his ASAB grants him access to women’s spaces and women’s terminology - it seems like a willful misgendering of yourself to say that you are not a woman but you somehow have a right to reap benefits of being a woman when it is convenient to you, based on attributes of yourself that people associate with women. i don’t care if you’re a man who likes baby animals and quilting, that does not give you a right to women’s spaces; i don’t care if you’re a man who’s DFAB, that does not give you a right to women’s spaces. women do not get to opt out of being women when we are being oppressed for it and opt back in when it advantages us and if any fucking twef tries to twist that to make that about trans women i’ll kick their fucking ass, trans women are women full time. 

i have only ever known trans men and man-aligned nb people to argue they still had a right to the word “lesbian” if they were literal sexual predators using their ASAB to infiltrate safe places and manipulate lesbians into coercive relationships (see: my ex.) this is a major red flag for me. and if it’s not a sign of an abuser, it’s at least a sign of emotional immaturity and entitlement.

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anyway yeah this guy needs to stop what he’s doing and grow up, this is gross and i’m sorry ur having to deal with this. good luck and godspeed, anon.

Hey hi yeah this is me. 

that anon was speaking about me.

Honestly this is none of your damn business what I see myself as and who I am sexually attracted to.

Why should shit like this matter?
What you wrote was disgusting and horrible. You’re views on things are biased and really, are uncalled for.

If my pronouns and sexuality bother you, then grow up, it’s my problem not yours. Stop being offended by things that don’t even APPLY to you.

Literally, it sounds like you called every nb man and trans man an abuser.

Go back and rant about your problems with cis people and white wash problems, my sexuality and gender, does not concern you.